Thursday, August 19, 2010

Finding Fluffy

Yes I know you think this is a blog post about finding my long lost cat. Nope you guessed wrong. Actually the truth of the matter is that fluffy found me and I am not happy. My whole entire life, all 42 years I have hated the word skinny. I used to get teased when I was a kid growing up for being a bean pole. Granddad used to take great glee in calling me grasshopper because of my long skinny legs. I graduated with a 28" waist and I am 6'2" and I weighed a whopping 118 lbs. Slim was a word that I heard often. My family was more full figured to say the least, so I was constantly encouraged to eat something and suffered incessant ribbing because, well, you could actually see my ribs.

Slowly I grew to a 30" waist and I weighed about 132 pounds. That was a weight that I stayed at for nearly a decade till I grew to a 32" waist and weighed in at about 158 pounds. I stayed that weight give or take 5 to 7 pounds till January when I quit smoking and have finally realized that no my pants have not shrunk I have grown. I now am pushing 178 pounds into 32" waist jeans and pretending that my hips are supposed to feel pained all day long till I can get home and rip them off faster than a hooker with a new john.

I guess in the real world I am not really "fat", but more what I like to call "fluffy". Trust me when I say it can be a cruel world around gay men. It is bad enough that I am over 40 but now I am sporting a mini muffin top. Folks, it is just not done in my world. According to the charts my ideal weight is 155-168 pounds for a small framed guy, which I am.

That's only ten pounds to loose. I guess if I can quit smoking for 8 months I can drop ten pounds in a month or two right? Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed about my weight. I know I am in a much better space than a lot of folks who are 50 or 100 pounds overweight. I should not complain. It is just hard for me to look down at where my stomach used to be and to see where it is now. I know one thing for sure, jeans with a 34" waist are never setting foot in my house and if I have any say in the matter I plan to put Fluffy outta its misery once and for all.


Lisa said...

Oh, the dreaded disease of the non-smoker. I've met you and you were super skinny, but I understand. It's a slippery slope from 32 inches to 34 inches.

Travelingman Rick said...

Oh Lisa if you only knew what a slippery slope it is. :) Thanks for commenting. I miss you.

John said...

Welcome to my world LOL! I won't make this all about me, but will email you sometime about my experiences! I am happy to say, that although difficult, it is not impossible to reduce that stomach. And I know you realize that means diet & exercise. I know you love it, but you are going to have to stop eating out so much and skip deserts! Hey, if you can quit smoking, you can do ANYTHING!

Antonio said...

I don't want to sound discouraging, but your comment "jeans with a 34 inch waist are never setting foot in my house" reminded me -- I was about your size at your age, when my mother noted that her father (my grandfather) now had a waist size of 51 (yes FIFTY ONE!). I remember saying "I will never get THAT huge!!"

Well, 20 years later I weigh in at 250 with -- a 52 inch waist.

So, just remember that your genes can be correlated with your jeans.

Also remember that the gay world's obsession with being trim is completely arbitrary. Perfectly loveable people come in all sizes and shapes, if you gain weight it won't drive away the people in your life who really matter.